03 May 2011

So I achieved something today. Actually I achieved many things.

I pulled off day one of the first course I have ever fully organised and ran completely on my own.
I survived my first lecture to a large group of people without running screaming for the hills.
I troubleshooted (troubleshot?) a number of minor issues - unregistered participants, special diets dropped on me at last minute, missing signs, computer glitches...

Sounds like all in all a pretty successful day, right? Sure, there are things that I may do differently next time. But all in all I was pretty happy with my performance and the way I coped with everything.

So why is it, in all that 'feel-good-ness' that the one thing that affects my perception of the day is the bad feedback? In perspective, approximately 90% of the feedback was great. But the 10% that wasn't so great is what stays with me. Why, as humans (or as women? But that opens a whole different issue...), do we do that? Belittle our achievements, no matter how great, instead choosing to focus on the minority, the one piece of feedback that says you could do better.

I intend to try to change this about myself. Starting now. I had a good day and I climbed - and conquered - one of my personal mountains.

I got up and spoke in front of a large group of people, remained coherent, and didn't have a panic attack.

And I'm damn proud of that.